


Insert Dumb Title Here

by ninjentsie



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, Demonic Possession, M/M, Minor Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-08-02 13:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16306052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjentsie/pseuds/ninjentsie





	1. Sallie House Incident

Shane Madej had the softest brown hair, in Ryan Bergara’s opinion. He was just sure that Shane’s hair was sculpted by angels and just automatically had shampoo in it 24/7. It was smooth and silky and warm all the time. When they were alone, Ryan would run his hands through it a little. He knew the layout of Shane’s hair better than the layout of his own home or his workplace. Ryan loved looking at Shane really. His hair was stunning, he had a slim figure, a cute face. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t obsess over how beautiful Shane Madej was.

 

Except for right now.

 

Ryan was hiding behind Shane’s couch, a surprise party gone wrong. The original plan was to surprise him with dumb spooky movies and eat microwave popcorn, but instead when Shane came home he was off. He was panting, sweating, and overall off from his usual behavior. Shane went straight to the kitchen, turning on the sink and splashing his face with water.

 

“Deep breaths,” Shane growled under his breath, “Relax, relax, relax.” 

 

Ryan peaked his head around the corner, watching as Shane’s breath didn’t change from it’s panicked state. As if he were starving, Shane threw the fridge door opened and grabbed some leftover KFC. Really unusual at this point. Ryan hid behind the couch again.

 

That was when it happened. Shane suddenly cried out in pain, as if somebody had just stabbed him, and he dropped to the floor, panting loudly and holding his chest in pain. Ryan watched from his hiding spot, his eyes filled with horror. 

 

Shane’s hair turned a dark oak color, and had a sort of spike to it. Pitch black horns grew from his head. Shane lifted his head and groaned in pain, his eyes rolling back. They turned into a milky white color, and fog seemed to spill from them, floating upwards. Ryan covered his mouth as Shane cried out again. His skin from the elbow down turned black and rough looking. The soft fingers Ryan held the other day turned into sharp, disgusting claws. 

 

And then he suddenly stopped. The painting, the pain, all of it just ended like it had never even happened.

 

Shane Madej slowly got up off the floor. He blinked a second pair of eyelids. Ryan swore he saw sharp teeth in Shane’s mouth but he wasn’t entirely sure. Shane stumbled to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He felt the horns, took a deep breath through his nose, and then his head snapped towards the couch. Ryan had thankfully ducked away before that, but Shane still knew he was there.

 

He was at the couch in less than a second, moving it aside and stammering, “R-Ryan you shouldn’t be here!” There was a second voice, a more demonic one, talking at the same time as Shane’s normal one. Ryan scrambled back towards the corner of the room, still on the floor.

 

“Shane! P-Please don’t hurt me I-I-”

“Ryan, I won’t. Stop squirming please.”

 

Shane waited for Ryan to calm down. He tried giving him a reassuring smile, only for Ryan to scream in horror and curse at Shane’s sharp pointy teeth.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Ryan screamed at him. Shane frowned and looked away, standing up. He ran a hand through his own hair and sighed. He floated above the ground a bit, gliding almost. Shane moved away from Ryan, giving him room to breath.

 

Shane admitted softly, “I don’t know, Rye.” He went to the kitchen. “You weren’t supposed to see this.”

 

Ryan quickly stood up and demanded, “Tell me what’s going on! Tell me I’m having some weird fever dream from whatever gross kool aid you had in your fridge!” Shane chuckled and shook his head. He looked at Ryan, his eyes still glowing softly in the dimly lit kitchen.

 

Shane said quickly, “After the Sallie house I had a really long confusing dream at my house. It’s a long story but basically me, being a dipshit, sold my soul away to a form of Satan-”

 

“A fORM OF SATAN?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN-”

“Don’t interrupt me, Ryan! Gosh, you’re so rude!”

“I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND-”

“RYAN!”

 

Their voices overlapped as they argued. Finally, Shane’s eyes glowed blood red as he grabbed Ryan’s wrist and shouted, “BE QUIET! LET ME SPEAK TO YOU FOR FIVE MINUTES!” Ryan yelped in pain and pulled away. Where Shane’s fingers had been there were now deep purple bruises. His nails had dug into his skin, leaving red lines. He stepped away from Shane, holding his arms to his chest in fear.

 

Shane’s eyes went back to a soft white. He stammered, “R-Rye, I didn’t mean to-”

 

“Don’t call me that!” Ryan growled, “Don’t call me that ever again! I’m leaving!” He stormed to the door. Shane sighed and rolled his eyes, locking the front door and forcing it to stay shut. Ryan threw himself at the door, his hands shaking and his eyes wide in horror.

 

“LET ME GO!” Ryan growled, “I WANT OUT!”

 

Shane came around the corner and into the living room. “Ryan, please. Can we talk about this?” He asked. Ryan made a cross with his fingers and held it out in front of him. His eyes filled with tears. Shane stared at him. He turned away from him and let the door open. Ryan fell backwards onto the porch, scrambling up and running to his car. Shane stood in the doorway, watching Ryan speed down the street.


	2. Higher Demon

_ Does anybody else know that feeling when you reveal to your best work friend that you’re actually a demon from hell and he freaks out and hides from you all of the work day?  _ Shane Madej thought to himself as he organized his desk. Ryan Bergara had been avoiding him all day. When Shane was at their desks, Ryan was getting coffee or going to the bathroom. When Shane was away from their desks, Ryan was huddled at his desk, frantically typing at his computer.

 

Shane figured Ryan was typing out his will, because that seemed to be a Ryan thing to do.

 

There was finally a moment, about two hours into the work day, when Shane and Ryan were at their desks at the same time. Shane sighed, “You writing your will there, Ry?” Ryan jumped a bit, as if he had no idea Shane knew how to talk. He gulped and closed off the google docs tab. When he didn’t reply, Shane said, “Ry, come on, you won’t even let me explain myself.”

 

“What’s to explain?” Ryan whispered, glaring at him. “What is there to explain, please do tell me.” Shane stood up and Ryan suddenly wished he was invisible. But Shane simply rolled his eyes and walked away. Ryan let out the breath he was holding in and laid his head down on his desk. 

 

_ Our desks are right across from each other, so how the hell am I supposed to avoid him?  _ Ryan thought to himself, tapping his fingers lightly on the table top. He looked back at his computer and opened up google docs again. Contrary to popular Shane belief, he wasn’t writing out his will. He was, however, writing out a detailed timeline of learning that Shane was a demon. If Shane decided to kill him out of nowhere, he had to leave proof of the existence of supernatural behind.

 

When Ryan saw Shane coming back he quickly closed the tab again, shut his computer off, and went to “get a cup of coffee”. After a minute of loitering by the coffee table in the break room, Shane came in and snapped, “Ryan, I plan on spending most of the day at our desks working! If you can’t be professional and get work done, then go home.” Ryan actually (stupidly) considered calling in sick and going home. But he quickly got a grip and scurried back to his desk, shoving past Shane.

 

“You’re an ass,” Ryan snapped, “and I hate you.” He sat back down and got to work.

 

Shane snickered, “Yeah, love you too, Ry.” Ryan almost relaxed, but quickly toughened up and glared at ‘Shane’.  _ This isn’t Shane, _ Ryan thought to himself,  _ Shane wouldn’t- _ Ryan froze up. Up until that point he had always assumed that Shane was being possessed. He gripped his pencil in fear, looking at his computer screen.  _ Did Shane ever exist? Is this not possession and this is just- _

 

“Ryan? You in there?” Shane asked.

 

Ryan stammered, “Sh-Shut up, Shane- Just stop. Okay? Just. Stop.” He glared at him. Shane stared and got up. He grabbed Ryan’s wrist and dragged him off to the bathrooms for a chat. Ryan didn’t even struggle, he just accepted that he was about to die in the bathrooms at work.  _ God, I hope somebody knows the password to my computer. Somebody that  _ **_isn’t_ ** _ Shane Madej, or whatever the hell this demon is anyway. _

 

Shane shut and locked the bathroom door. “Ryan, I know you are freaked out and probably ordering a whole gallon of holy water on Amazon right now, but I’m not going to hurt you!”

 

“Yes you are!” Ryan huffed, “You’re a demon! You’re a monstrous beast that wants to tear out my organs in the name of Satan!” Shane was quiet for a moment. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

 

Shane asked, “Ryan, do you really not trust me anymore-”

 

“You’re not Shane! You’re not the Shane I know! Shane wouldn’t scare me and hurt me! Bring Shane back!” Ryan shouted, shoving him back. Shane hit the wall and stared at Ryan. He didn’t know how to react to that.  _ He thinks this is a possession situation. He doesn’t think I’m me. _

 

Shane said carefully, “Ryan, do you really think… You know that I am this right? I-I’m not being possessed, I  _ am _ a demon now.” Ryan shook his head. Shane nodded and took a step closer. “I’m still Shane. I always have been. Please, Ryan.” The two were quiet, the only sound in the bathroom being the air conditioner. Ryan finally took a deep breath and replied.

 

“Why do I never see anything?” Ryan asked quietly, “Why do I never see any ghosts or demons if you _are_ one. You should be attracting ghosts and shit like moth to a flame, right?” He looked at Shane with helpless, broken eyes. Shane felt his heart ache. (Shane started to wonder if he actually had a heart. He wasn’t sure). He didn’t mean to hurt Ryan, really. The last thing Shane wanted was to make Ryan think he was deceiving him or betraying him.

 

Shane wasn’t sure whether to tell the truth on this one. But he’s already lied to Ryan enough. Shane quietly explained, “I’m a… higher demon then them. I guess you could put it like that. So, I scare a lot of other creatures off. That’s how  _ he _ explained it to me.”

 

Ryan’s face went red. He snapped, “Are you telling me that I would have found proof by now had you not been around?!” Shane opened his mouth but Ryan kept going. “I could have found a  _ fuck ton _ of supernatural proof! A major break through! And, yet, my own  _ fucking _ partner prevented me from finding anything!” Ryan started pacing, which used to look adorable to Shane but now it made him hurt more. Ryan shouted, “God, I can’t believe this!” 

 

“Ryan, please stop yelling.” Shane said, “These walls aren’t sound proof.”

 

“Don’t talk to me! Don’t talk, look, breathe, or touch me! I’m done with you for today!” Ryan scoffed, shoving past him and leaving the bathroom. Shane watched him go, messing with a loose string from his shirt.

 

Keith Habersberger slowly came out of one of the stalls. He stared at Shane, who looked right back at him. Keith asked, “Did he finally find out?” Shane nodded. Keith laughed and left the bathroom. Shane, knowing damn well Ryan was going to keep avoiding him, decided to do his paperwork on his phone and in the bathroom. What a great way to get work done.


End file.
